According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary addiction is described as follows:
compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful
Their definition of obsession is (in part):
a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling; broadly : compelling motivation
My sister-in-law often jokes that she has to go through a 36 step process: alcoholics, overeater’s and gamblers anonymous programs! That many steps are just plain overwhelming. Of course she really doesn’t but it makes for a good laugh.
(So ya know I’ll be using the two interchangeably)
Perhaps everyone has additions/obsessions in their lives. Some not as destructive (financially, physically and/or mentally) as heroin, nicotine or alcohol.
One can be obsessed in various ways such as working 70 hours a week and “ignoring” their family, addicted to exercise (that is definitely not me!), the list goes on and on.
Take a few minutes to think about what you could be addicted to, actually take your time, I’ll wait.
To be completely honest with you, there have been several times in my life when I was addicted to alcohol (notice that I stated have been). Now my two “best friends” as I like to call them, are caffeine (both pop and iced tea) and nicotine. Not the healthiest, but that’s where I be right now.
I’ve been struggling with this for longer than I care to admit. But a deep small voice inside of me (which is the good Lord of course) tells me I can stop both and will not even have withdrawals and reap numerous benefits. Why am I still doing it? I’ve tried to stop but always give in to my wants, not needs, wants. I still continue to ignore His voice but just choose to think the ‘voice’ is coming from my head.
He has also showed me how things would be better for me, my meds would work more efficiently, I wouldn’t be as depressed (caffeine brings my mood down) and the financial aspect as well.
When one of my nephews was very young he was not fun to be around. He was crabby and just plain bitchy, as bitchy as a 1 ½ year old can be. Any who, he was drinking Kool-Aid instead of water, just as his three older siblings did. As what was probably a last ditch effort, they stopped the sugar laden Kool-Aid and to say he did a 180 would be an understatement! He wasn’t the bitchy kid he once was, he was actually great to have around.
When we give up our addiction we will probably go through withdrawals, physically and/or mentally. But we have to remember there will be pain before pleasure.
Doctor Art (again)
His definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. True, but there are a few more definitions for the word insanity, believe me I know all too well. That’s not what Merriam-Webster says but I hope we get the hint.
I’m realizing that my obsessions are controlling me instead of the other way around but yet I’m still doing them. When I finally decide that enough is enough I know that He will hold me in the palm of His hand (He’ll have to hold me really tight, let me tell ya).
Because of this He has showed me that I have control issues. So much so that I won’t even totally hand it to Him and give up my complete and total control to Him so He will let it happen.
Will I finally get His hint and listen to His still small voice? Yep, someday, and hopefully sooner than later.
I know what I’m doing is insane (Doctor Art’s description) but until complete and total control is released to Him I’ll be stuck here. Ya, I know I know enough of the insanity already!
But I hold onto this: I’m not where I wanna be but at least I’m not where I used to be!
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